Not long ago, I found myself thinking something I never imagined I would think after thirty five years of walking with the Lord, shouldn't trusting Him have become easier?

Why does trusting God feel harder now than it once did? It was not a question I asked lightly, and if I am honest, it was one I almost felt embarrassed to admit. After all these years, after seeing God's faithfulness time and time again, shouldn't trusting Him have become easier?

Instead, I found myself wrestling in ways I had never expected. Perhaps it is because this season has lasted much longer than I ever imagined. There is something about prolonged struggles that slowly wear us down. It is not always one devastating event that tests our faith. Sometimes it is the steady drip of disappointment. The waiting that quietly stretches from months into years. The prayers that remain unanswered long after we thought they would be.

As I have sat with these thoughts, another realization has gently surfaced. I wonder if faith has seasons just as life does.

When I was younger, climbing a steep hill hardly made me think twice. I would simply put my head down and keep walking until I reached the top. These days I still climb the hill, but I do so differently. My pace is slower. I pause more often. I stop to catch my breath before taking the next step.

There is nothing wrong with that. It is simply part of growing older. But I have begun wondering whether faith sometimes feels the same.

Not because God has changed.

Not because I love Him less.

But because life has become heavier.

The years have brought joys I could never have imagined, but they have also brought loss, disappointment, unanswered prayers, and burdens I never expected to carry for so long. Those things have a way of testing muscles I never knew faith possessed.

Then another thought crossed my mind, one that has lingered with me ever since. For the past four years, we have not been part of a church family.

Life happened. Disappointment happened. Before we realised it, Sunday had quietly become just another day. We never stopped loving the Lord. We never stopped praying or reading His Word. But I cannot help wondering whether something slowly settled over us during those years.

Not unbelief.

Not rebellion.

Just... comfort.

The kind that asks very little of us.

The kind that no longer stretches our faith.

The kind where we quietly drift away from the encouragement, accountability, and sharpening that comes from walking alongside other believers.

I do not know whether that is the reason. Perhaps it is only one small piece of a much bigger picture. But asking the question has caused me to look honestly at my own heart.

Somewhere along this journey, I realised that my circumstances had become louder than God's character.

Every difficult day had something to say.

Every disappointment whispered its own version of the truth.

Every delay tried to convince me that perhaps God had forgotten.

And if I listened long enough, I found myself measuring God's goodness by what was happening around me instead of by who He has always revealed Himself to be. That was a sobering realization.

Because my circumstances change almost daily.

God does not.

As I reflected on the years behind me, I found myself remembering things I had almost forgotten. The prayers He answered when there seemed to be no answer. The unexpected provision that arrived at exactly the right time. The strength He gave me when I thought I had reached the end of my own. His faithfulness had not disappeared. I had simply become so focused on today's struggle that I had forgotten yesterday's evidence of His goodness.

Perhaps that is why God so often called His people to remember. Not because He was afraid they would forget history.

But because He knew they would be tempted to forget His heart. That has slowly become my prayer these days.

Not, "Lord, explain why."

Not even, "Lord, change my circumstances."

But, "Lord, remind me who You have always been."

Because I have come to realise that trusting God has never depended on understanding everything He does.

It depends on knowing who He is.

I still have questions.

I still have days when disappointment feels heavy.

I still find myself pausing on the hill more often than I once did.

But I also know this.

The God who has carried me through every valley behind me has not changed because the road in front of me feels steeper. His character remains the same.

His love remains the same.

His faithfulness remains the same.

Perhaps mature faith is not reaching a place where we no longer struggle. Maybe it is reaching a place where, even in the struggle, we quietly remind our hearts of what has always been true.

God is still God.

And that is enough to help me take the next step.

Perhaps you have discovered, as I have, that trusting God after many years of walking with Him can sometimes feel harder than it once did.

If that's where you find yourself today, I wrote a free eBook called Why Trust Is So Hard with you in mind.

My prayer is that its pages will gently remind you that while our faith may sometimes feel fragile, God's faithfulness never is.

Click HERE to receive your free copy.