Looking back over the year, I would always use the last two days of the year to reflect on what has been—the challenges I faced, the victories and the growth which I experienced. A week ago, I gave this some thought, and it felt at that moment, that no growth had taken place in my life. Note, I said: “felt” — measuring by what growth should feel like. It didn’t feel like growth took place—that I remained at one place. In the personal development arena, there is a formula to measure growth. Both; personal and spiritual growth are important to me and I am more prone to look for spiritual growth.

As I delved deeper into this thought, thinking of how 2019 started off for us as a family and where I find myself right now—it was not an easy journey, one that I thought I would not overcome. But I did. Just the fact that I could testify, ending the year in good spirit, is a huge sign that deep growth took place. 

It is not the normal growth where we see and observe visible fruits of growth. This growth is not visible yet, it is a growth of another dimension. Using the analogy of the tip of the iceberg, to explain what deep growth can look like. Looking at an iceberg one sees a small tiny piece sticking out and may even look like a blob of ice floating on the waters. But, the real weight, size, depth and strength of the iceberg is beneath the surface, which is invisible.  

When we face life challenges, it would often feel as if we remain stationary—nothing happening. But why is that? We are so involved in finding solutions in how to best deal with the disappointment, failure, divorce, betrayal or grief that we overlook the part where we grow through these processes. As hard as it may be, it involves every inch of our being in trying to ease the pain. It is a tough and a hard place to be, but it is in this very process that our faith muscles grow in another dimension. Our faith grows in weight, size, depth and strength, and the true value of this growth is only to be seen much later or upon deeper reflection. When looking back, we would often remark: “I don’t know how I got through it, but I did.” 

This is true for me today. I cannot explain how I got here, but I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the process and path I am on. In these months gone by, I prayed one sentence every day: “Lord, heal my heart.” 

May you look to Him, our Lord Saviour, for the journey you're on however challenging, to give you new hope and heal your pain.